Birth Room Scenario

So last time I had a baby it all happened so fast (don’t hate) I had no time to think of ambiance! Plus? I showed up in FLIP FLOPS! Unacceptable!! I need to start laying out different comfy-but-photogenic outfit options this week. Siri – add this to the to-do! (just kidding, I don’t have an iPhone. I actually understand technology!)

Back to 2009- The one thing I did consider was my “first meal” request. I had been abstaining from brie and other unpasteurized cheeses during my pregnancy and craved my favorite sandwich (brie, avocado and apple on a ciabatta). My mom was all over it- buying avocados every other day so she’d have one at optimum ripeness when the time came.

This time around all that first pregnancy paranoia is gone and brie, spray tans, adventure sports, superfluous x-rays, and champagne are all a go. (Half joking?)

Anyhoooo – Since I plan on getting to the birthing center a LOT earlier this time, so as to take advantage of their jacuzzi (it’s very Mount Airy Lodge meets …well, probably Mount Airy Lodge) I have been thinking about what else I may want on hand as I bring YET ANOTHER miracle into the world (future miracles to include the 4-part Young Adult novel phenomenon that will just POUR out of me once I’m a fantastically busy mom of 2) But I digress!

Here’s what I really wanted: Diptyque candles in Baies (during) and Lilac (after) and some Veuve Clicquot Rose. But then I remembered the birth center doesn’t ALLOW real candles. I know. Start a letter-writing campaign.

I guess I’ll just have to spritz some Frederic Malle ‘En Passant’ in the air and dim the lights. Also? Cashmere everything. Do they make cashmere boppy covers? If so, I want one. If not, DIY that shit. (See- This is precisely why Beyonce should have actually had her own baby- so many opportunities to make ridiculous demands.)

I can’t predict *exactly* what I’ll want to eat right after delivering? But here are some things I would NOT reject:

  • toasted bagel (from reputable bagelry) with cream cheese (NOT low fat!)
  • macarons from Bouchon
  • chocolate croissant from Petrossian
  • vegan apple cannelle from Le Pain Q
  • The ‘Veggie Franco’ from City Sandwich
  • pinkberry
  • Now you know.


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