Please remind me next year when I think it’s a super quaint idea to schlep my daughter to the Upper East Side for the ‘Annual Alumnae Santa Picture Day’ at Convent of the Sacred Heart that this is a horrible idea.
First of all – a little clarity – this event is NOT reserved solely for the children of alums, but for CURRENT student/parents as well. Misrepresentation! The line? Approximately as long as 1200 Birkin bags laid end to end. That is a long line, y’all! In addition, the new trend uptown is having a positively 1890s idea about family planning. This means you are waiting for three or four kids in coordinating Bonpoint outfits to assemble themselves around the most anesthetized Santa ever, instead of just one or two. Add to that the Pro-Am DSLR set-ups their screeching mothers bring with them to capture the moment in 18000 Megapixels, and you’re talking some serious chaos.
Some alum coordinator chit-chatted with me briefly while I was waiting in line (45 minutes in… almost halfway there!) and when I suggested they spread the event across TWO days she emitted a light-hearted laugh and said, “Oh that will never happen!” Oh, I forgot “event planning” is not the Catholics’ strong suit. Papal Mass 1997? Probably had the worst hors d’oeuvres in history!
Anyhoo- here are the totally bogus pictures of Virginia scratching a scab while Santa alternately looks out the window/ resembles a convict. Oh and that last one manages to eliminate half of her right leg as well. Great job, guys.