People will disagree with me (I don’t care!) but being a kid can be a dorky as hell time. Between lame parents putting you in awful gear from The Children’s Place (Children, were you aware your “place” was filled with so many horrible colors and patterns?! You should sue!) and having to watch pitiful programming like Word World (how does making a shark’s body spell out the word ‘shark’ help anybody learn to read?) and ‘Angelina Ballerina’ (Could she be any more of a spoiled turd?) – the cards are kind of stacked against you, coolness-wise. You can’t go to shows, or ride your bike down to the docks yet. Maybe you like good music but that’s probably just a coincidence, and if your parents have been taking you to art openings on their shoulders well you run the risk of being jaded by the time you’re 7. Tough waters to navigate, little dawgs!
Then again, you’re young and have a million chances to hit ctrl-alt-delete on your steez before you hit teendom and your social network remembers every malaprop, bad haircut and sartorial misstep you make. (I ain’t even gonna get in to taking your clothes off on the internet. Don’t do it, girls.)
That said- incorporating some or all of the stuff below into your life will ensure that you at least APPEAR totally awesome- even if you have a lisp and cry during the ‘Backyardigans’ theme song.
This one looks SICK but is pricey as hell as it is no doubt constructed in ‘non-China.’
This one is about 1/3 of the price and looks almost as cool. But these decisions are between you and your shrinking retirement fund. Oh wait- that’s me!
Legos are innately cool, but add thoroughly horrible, misogynist architects into the mix and the result is a disturbingly cool toy. Maybe leave out the part about the kids getting butchered by Wright’s deranged Caribbean chef at Taliesin. Unless you think emotion scars are cool.
A well-dressed doll for your well dressed child.
I want this for myself.
Jean jackets are great. Bold tiger print? Well look at it this way…when ELSE in life are you going to be able to get away with this? (Hopefully forever, Virginia, presuming you don’t work in finance!)
I think this girl’s face says it all.
I saw these boots and was inspired to do a post on COOL KID stuff. So there you go.
Finish the whole thing off with this perfectly ratty dream jacket and you’re set for life (or until you outgrow all this stuff. Maintaining one’s cool is a journey, not a destination!)
Frazier and Wing use genius color combos that make their delicate and simple mobiles appropriate for everyone, not just crib chillers.
Science? School? Do I even *read* my own intro paragraphs? I thought this was supposed to be about nauseatingly COOL stuff!? Enter: worms.
Some kid: “What the fudge is that?”
Your kid: “That? That’s a huge old worm hanging on my wall and I ain’t even a little bit grossed out. OWNED.”
I don’t know who this Lewis is, but he hangs out on the moon so… you do the math.
It took me a minute to figure out what was going on here but basically it’s a slick piece of blond wood furniture with an extremely limited purpose that involves a small child conversing with a baby. Ideally, the conversation would take place is Swedish but I guess one-sided English would work too.
This mobile is whimsical and fun and doesn’t have Dora’s triangular shaped head exploring all over it.
Stay cool, my young friends!