Dear Mother Nature,
I liked you a lot better when you were all blooming and steamy and staying light until 9. Lately? Your attitude really sucks. First you snowed all over the place on one of the busiest travel days of the year (not cool) and then you enjoyed it SO MUCH you decided to make it a weekly thing. Now you’re on some power trip where you’re like, “How cold can I go?! Check me out!!! Can’t feel your lower extremities? That’s ME!” I’m just really sick of your “attention” okay? Why are you always SOOOO nice to the Caribbean?
I just can’t help feeling like you’re mad at me?
Here are some things the rest of us can buy to be as cute as possible when our bodies are found ice-welded to playground equipment.