This morning I got up early to wrap some Christmas presents for Virginia, my mom, and a few friends. Once that was done (and I was very proud of myself) I thought I’d dig out the passports and ready them for our trip on the 26th. Mainly, I just wanted to look at Virginia’s picture- which is totally insane – because she looks more like this
and less like this
Anyway- it was then that I discovered that OOPSIE-EFFING-DOOPS my passport is expired. Aaaaaand I work for a living, aaaaaaand tomorrow is Christmas eve. I took the expired passport with me and knew that once I got to my office, somebody would know who to call. A few people suggested this place in the basement of 30 Rock called ‘It’s Easy.’ I’m sure it is! I’m also sure they wanted $520 to perform their service because that is what they told me. There had to be another way.
My friend and efficiency expert Rosa W. suggested Passport Plus on 49th St so I took a cab over there and the grumpuses that worked there basically told me to take a hike… so I did! All the way down to Tribeca – my mom having scored me the last appointment until 2011 at the main passport office on Hudson. I was late, I was sweaty, and my hands were shaking really bad.
I got upstairs to the 10th floor and was reviewing my own documents when I realized that the itinerary that Mike had sent me was just for my return flight- not for my departing flight – my QUALIFYING EVENT flight – on the 26th, so I called him in a panic to send the details. Obviously not having access to a printer in the waiting room I had to pray that the teller would be cool with today’s technological miracles. So there I was, holding my iPad screen up to the bulletproof glass, afraid to meet his gaze.
“What is that… an iPad?”
“Oh thanks! So … see? There’s the flight”
He had asked what I was most fearful of, as I arrived to his counter with coat and bag flapping and papers and pictures flying all over the place.
“Of ruining my family’s vacation!”
He handed me a receipt and told me the passport would be ready at 3pm. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! ACK!