Monthly Archives: September 2009

I hate CSS!

In the process of trying to update this blog’s layout and cursing the geeky spazz who invented CSS.


Bobbin’ for Apples

The widgie has a lot of fun at daycare. She caught 3 apples!






It’s easy to cave when it comes to baby’s needs and sometimes even baby’s total NON-NEEDS like frilly dresses and luxury strollers. (Love my Vista! Love!)

But there are plenty of opportunities to NOT cave because stuff is just too ridiculous for words. Here are some of those!

Armani Sippy Cup

Armani Sippy Cup

Giorgio Armani spent days dreaming up this perfect sippy cup for your toddler to toss with elan from atop his ivory highchair…
Dolce & Gabbana baby bottle

Dolce & Gabbana baby bottle

Just fill with campari and soda, put your baby in some cut off jean shorts and hit the road!

Not Rational diaper bag

Not Rational diaper bag

The company that makes this $490 diaper bag is called Not Rational, which precisely describes the state you’d need to be in to purchase one. I also don’t dig camo print baby items. What’s this meant to suggest? That taking care of a baby is much like snaking through the jungle on all fours before you toss a grenade into the well of a primitive village? (It SO is!) Or maybe its to prevent my diapering supplies from being too easily detected by roving gangs of enemy babies?

Tod's Junior Dee Laccetto Flats

Tod's Junior Dee Laccetto Flats

Nothing like a pair of $215 designer driving shoes for someone who won’t be able to drive for another 10-15 years! (However, I’ll take them. I don’t know how to drive either)

Dior Pacifiers

Dior Pacifiers

At $45 a piece, you’ll want to stock up on these. Maybe just stick a few $20 bills in your baby’s diaper too, but make sure they peek out! Like peacock feathers!

Tough night for nuggies

So, I’ve mentioned that the nug has had a stuffy nose for a while, and when she was last at the doc, he recommended this thing.

It’s a nosefrida! A snotsucking device from Sweden that allows a mom (or anyone else willing to stick this thing in their mouth) to suck mucus from a suffering baby. From the reviews I read on Amazon and elsewhere, parents seem to swear by this thing; and since it doesn’t involve jamming the tiny nozzle of a bulb syringe up a squirming infant’s wee nostril, I was eager to try it.

The American website for the Nosefrida says that it is sold at Whole Foods so I held off on ordering it from Amazon and thought I’d just pick it up at the Columbus Circle Whole Foods on my lunch hour. FAIL! Not only did they not have it but the two West Indian ‘Whole Body’ employees I asked insulted the device and said I should just “do it naturally” and suck the snot out of her nose myself. Sorry! Squeamish white person up in here! Don’t really feel that exchanging bodily fluids in non-life-or-death scenarios is necessary (sex excluded). I mean, snake venom? I would obviously suck that out of the baby. Mouth to mouth resusitation? With pleasure. But just run-of-the-mill nose cleaning? I think Virginia might actually lose respect for me.

Anyway- because I was unable to procure this device last night the nuggie’s mucus situation escalated and now she has a wet sounding cough and could barely sleep. I cursed Whole Foods as I sat up in bed all night, cradling the wee widge in an upright position to allow for better drainage.

I dropped her off at my mom’s this morning, imploring Grammy to please make it their mission today to find this &^%$’in thing and buy it.

Outclassed by Cruise

Oh hey Suri! Nice HIGH HEELS. At the rate this child is maturing she’ll be wearing orthopedic shoes before she learns cursive.

To quote my mom, “Get this kid to a sandbox…PRONTO!!!”

All the single babies (all the single babies)

singlebabiesCourtesy of Jim Beaver (Deadwood’s Ellsworth): a dancing baby video.

Breastmilk to the rescue!

Stuffy nose? Pink eye? Eczema? Go squirt some breastmilk all up in there!

This page touts the many uses for this miraculous elixir; some I knew, some I did not. You’ll have to decide for yourself if you want to use it to remove your eye make-up, however. Tis a bit sticky, non?

The above site also lead me to the International Breast Milk Project, an organization that harvests donor milk from across the country for needy infants in the US and in Africa. They screen all their candidates (via an at-home blood test and cheek swab performed by a lab tech, free of charge) and provide donors with a cooler bag and prepaid Fedex package to collect milk and ship it to their milk bank. 75% of the donated milk is used in the U.S., with the remaining 25% being shipped to Africa to help babies suffering from HIV/AIDS and/or malnourishment. They also raise money to support health care initiatives in Africa, including milk banking. So great.

Once the nuggie starts on solids in a couple months and doesn’t need every last ounce of my milk, I want to sign up and donate. Breast milk is a magical thing!! I would be honored to share it.

Related: Check out this breast-feeding article in a January 2009  issue of The New Yorker