The fashionable balloon

It is hard to maintain TOTAL BABE status when you have a LITERAL BABE popping out of your midsection, but this is America and everything is possible. Here are some choices for looking chic even when you feel like a weeble.

These sweaters from the Gap fulfill a few of my ‘mat gear’ requirements: they’re simple- will work until the end of your pregnant life, and probably have a life of their own afterwards.

These J Brand Maternity (yes. really.) jeans are as hot as their non-knocked-up counterparts and feature very inconspicuous triangular elastic panels in the waist/hip area. Provided you don’t gain a lot of thigh weight with your pregnancy, you could keep on wearing these post-babe, have them taken in, or re-sell them on designer preggie fashion site,

Guess what’s hiding under this dress? A fetus! No one would ever guess with all that gathered jazz in the front. Rachel Pally’s dresses make great maternity gear since they’re made of super soft, stretchy jersey. I myself own 2 of them and they are awesome.

So…if you have the money to buy this insane Jean Paul Gautier tunic, might I interest you first in adopting me as your muse and possible future babymill? No? Okay- well then you should still invest in this delicious tunic and have it send me a postcard describing your wonderful life together. *sigh*

Moving on!

American Apparel. Where do I begin? Sure, no one on this site looks old enough to even have sex (except in maybe Thailand or Denmark) let alone procreate- but they have oodles of stretchy cotton gear in tons of shapes and colours that will fit you from the first trimester to the third til you’re your old trampy self again. (I speak purely for myself here)

On the subject of undergarments…

I see a lot of ‘maternity underwear’ online but other than the rapid expansion of raw boob mass, there is no need to buy pregnancy-specific bras and underwear. (Just avoid demi cups as you expand or you will find yourself in double-bubble trouble, for sure) I like to hit up my fave online lingerie haven, and see what’s new in the 36DD+ zone. (hint: yikes) They always have amazing discounts, which is great since you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a bra you will most likely hulk out of in a month or two anyway.

This isn’t a fashion staple, but I consider it a pregnancy must-have. Sure, you’re probably not exposing your midriff to the general public that much – but that’s no reason to let it go. This stuff will keep your baby orb soft, smooth and ripple-free. Also, it smells like Pepperidge Farm Orange Milanos. Yum!

That’s what I got for now. Link of the day later this evening…


One response to “The fashionable balloon

  1. This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

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