Fingers still crossed

You know, I started this blog to document what I thought was going to be a long, difficult process of conceiving again after losing a fallopian tube last year- and boom- in the first entry I’m already seeing blue lines.

I stopped at CVS that night and bought one of those Clearblue digital tests (I read a bunch of forums where women removed all doubt about the whole faint line vs dark line thing by getting a computer’s opinion). Once indoors I made a beeline for the b-room and after 3 minutes of watching the little hourglass icon… “pregnant.”

I walked back into the living room, stick leading the way, and delivered it to my husband, saying “This is the situation we now find ourselves in.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“I guess so. I mean. That’s what the stick says.”

I don’t really remember the exact dialogue after that but I do know we were trying hard to be as aloof as possible- not allowing ourselves to get too excited before we know what’s what. As much as I want this, and as I’ve said before, I just can’t take the heartache of being let down again…

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